Welcome to the Jungle
by bea.tricks
Summary: "You're incorrigible, Hatter." "Hey, you hassled my tea shop employees too!"


_here we are, my first (posted) alice fic, so be kind. …or be outlandishly cruel, that works too. just don't insult my mama._

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Hatter walked into Alice's new dojo, his duffel slung over one shoulder. The place certainly had shaped up well. She was right to insist on the more expensive furniture, he decided as he stepped up to the sleek front desk. A young woman sitting behind it with delicate glasses and her hair pulled into a tight bun indicated a sign in sheet on a clipboard.

"Are you new here?" she asked in a high, crisp voice.

"Yeah, haven't seen the place yet."

"Well it's very new. We only opened a week ago."

Hatter smiled and nodded. "Indeed."

The woman pulled the clipboard toward her and said, "Well, Mr. Hatter, I'll need you to fill out this form. Have you studied elsewhere?" She slid a sheet across to him and he smirked, playing along.

"No, not judo. I'm told I have a mean right hook though."

"I imagine you'll find it a bit different than what you're used to. But Ms. Hamilton is an excellent instructor, and her students usually learn very quickly."

"So I've heard."

The woman went about her business while Hatter diligently filled in his address, reading the remainder of the sheet and signing at the bottom. "Heere you are," he lilted as he slid it across the dark wood to her. Hatter watched to see if she would notice that he'd listed his address as the loft directly above them, but she merely placed the sheet on a pile to her left.

"Great. Now how would you like to pay for today's lesson?"

Finally Hatter chuckled and turned in the direction of the door to the mens locker room. "I'm not paying." Not offering up the crucial information at this point he knew was cruel, but he was having too much fun.

"Do I need to call security?"

Hatter's face scrunched up in amusement. "There's no security here."

"How do you know?"

He decided to give her an out. "Do you know who I am?"

"What does it matter? Look, even if you were the king of…" she made a waving gesture, unable to _quite_ pinpoint his accent, "wherever you're from, you'd still have to pay for your lessons."

Hatter nodded. "That's true. The king would definitely have to pay." It was becoming increasingly difficult not to laugh, but he forced a straight face.

"Now how would you like to pay for your lesson?"

"I admire your drive," he stated, retrieving a check from his wallet and picking up the pen chained to the clipboard.

Her expression quickly changed to a helpful one. "It's actually a better deal if you sign up for a set of ten lessons. I guarantee you won't be sorry once you've been through one of Ms. Hamilton's classes."

"You know what, you're right. It'll be good incentive for me to come if I pay for them all now." Hatter verified the amount with the receptionist and handed her the check.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.

At just that moment, the door to the women's locker room opened and Alice stepped out in her gi. "Hey you," she said, strolling over to the desk where Hatter stood and giving him a brief kiss. "You'd better hurry. I don't tolerate tardiness."

"Sorry, Mrs. Hatter, I had to fill out some paperwork." He gestured at the desk.

"I told you I'm keeping my last name."

"I know," he said with a smile. "Still gonna call you that."

"You've met Rosalyn?" Alice asked, gesturing to the woman with wide eyes behind the desk. "Ros, this is my fiance and business partner, David Hatter."

"We weren't formally introduced," Hatter said in a light tone, reaching to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you, Rosalyn." Her face was bright red and she seemed at a loss for words.

Turning back toward Alice, he looked her up and down with a smirk and a leer. "How do you make that look so hot?" Then his eyebrows furrowed. "Hey, where's your ring?"

"I don't wear it during classes. Don't want to scratch up the students."

"Ah, good thinking. You lock it up though, right? That thing was expensive."

"Course I do." She smacked his ass and headed toward a door on the other side of the room. "Hurry up, class is about to start."

"Right behind you, love."

Left alone in the room, the receptionist shifted nervously in her seat and pulled out a post-it note to warn the other employees. By the time she'd decided how to word it, Hatter emerged from the locker room and sent a wink at her as he walked by.

Rosalyn crumpled up the note she'd started. "I'll be _damned_ if I'm the only one who gets hazed."


End file.
